it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!