Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
