you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
