I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
