Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
