I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
