Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
