We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
