Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
