im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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