I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
