shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
