that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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