whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
