alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize