This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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