Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
