So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize