i think my tv is drunk
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
