Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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