i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
