xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well you can't waste a boner
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.