dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Blood and glitter go together right?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.