Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Alcohol?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Sex with a fat chick.

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  (601): How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next? (318): Alcohol? (601): Sex with a fat chick. http://tfl.nu/6g9z
  Replies (16) Good night (1017) Bad night (1681)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?

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  (214): did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night? http://tfl.nu/w8rd
  Replies (9) Good night (3947) Bad night (961)
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  (415): View more from California

  is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?

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  (415): is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes? http://tfl.nu/tmmj
  Replies (7) Good night (3610) Bad night (1219)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning

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  (203): First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning http://tfl.nu/rq6u
  Replies (16) Good night (3981) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3363) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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  (207): Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us. http://tfl.nu/mqg9
  Replies (2) Good night (4344) Bad night (1204)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.

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  (917): He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house. http://tfl.nu/rgic
  Replies (10) Good night (2614) Bad night (1178)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it

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  (+44): He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it http://tfl.nu/dp2q
  Replies (3) Good night (1702) Bad night (686)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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  (406): Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8if7
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (1251)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.

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  (360): We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat. http://tfl.nu/nbay
  Replies (8) Good night (652) Bad night (1563)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.

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  (780): He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up. http://tfl.nu/lxz2
  Replies (3) Good night (1361) Bad night (506)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm

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  (813): He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm http://tfl.nu/b6iz
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (610)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.

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  (615): Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of. http://tfl.nu/7ejc
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?

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  (615): Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH? http://tfl.nu/vznl
  Replies (7) Good night (425) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.

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  (519): I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not. http://tfl.nu/yb7r
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (273)

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