Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.

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  (773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you. http://tfl.nu/kzww
  Replies (25) Good night (1169) Bad night (3075)
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  (661): View more from California

  how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

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  (661): how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/fdur
  Replies (45) Good night (973) Bad night (3840)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

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  (508): just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over http://tfl.nu/74b2
  Replies (29) Good night (21779) Bad night (1179)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

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  (313): Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/j0gt
  Replies (20) Good night (4701) Bad night (1123)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.

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  (206): He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go. http://tfl.nu/rhri
  Replies (13) Good night (2230) Bad night (3764)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.

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  (724): look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means. http://tfl.nu/mq55
  Replies (10) Good night (3526) Bad night (1235)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car

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  (412): At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car http://tfl.nu/wr7k
  Replies (9) Good night (1994) Bad night (1191)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."

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  (850): He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket." http://tfl.nu/lw9r
  Replies (2) Good night (1602) Bad night (746)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.

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  (262): You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery. http://tfl.nu/1z8w
  Replies (2) Good night (1943) Bad night (614)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room

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  (413): You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room http://tfl.nu/ree5
  Replies (5) Good night (1264) Bad night (646)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

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  (907): Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed??? http://tfl.nu/qbm2
  Replies (20) Good night (2541) Bad night (642)
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  (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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  (530): Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them. http://tfl.nu/oho5
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (424)
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  (510): View more from California

  Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.

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  (510): Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day. http://tfl.nu/eul1
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (402)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.

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  (612): Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers. http://tfl.nu/iktn
  Replies (5) Good night (1408) Bad night (355)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  He meets the coolest people when he's drunk

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  (316): Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget (1-316): He meets the coolest people when he's drunk http://tfl.nu/0j8z
  Replies (1) Good night (993) Bad night (684)

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