Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

(540): View more from Virginia

you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

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(513): View more from Ohio

thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.

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(503): View more from Oregon

i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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(913): View more from Kansas

Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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(940): View more from Texas

It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"

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(903): View more from Texas

Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.

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