My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
