Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...