I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits