Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

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  (619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant! http://tfl.nu/toiz
  Replies (18) Good night (1835) Bad night (710)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

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  (513): Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am http://tfl.nu/6qjs
  Replies (7) Good night (2160) Bad night (612)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice

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  (404): girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice http://tfl.nu/q2o9
  Replies (20) Good night (768) Bad night (3788)
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  (914): View more from New York

  still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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  (914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn
  Replies (12) Good night (1687) Bad night (4593)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.

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  (781): i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed. http://tfl.nu/tv17
  Replies (9) Good night (5141) Bad night (1172)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3

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  (817): Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3 http://tfl.nu/4ua9
  Replies (10) Good night (3323) Bad night (1054)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.

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  (708): I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex. http://tfl.nu/cwao
  Replies (10) Good night (3637) Bad night (1052)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.

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  (740): Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake. http://tfl.nu/l7w3
  Replies (6) Good night (766) Bad night (1717)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.

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  (815): After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin. http://tfl.nu/me1g
  Replies (3) Good night (1032) Bad night (531)
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  (760): View more from California

  I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?

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  (760): I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right? http://tfl.nu/usy0
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (571)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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  (425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2
  Replies (3) Good night (593) Bad night (522)
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  (619): View more from California

  You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

  (619): View more from California

  Love you...

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  (619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (520)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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  (202): Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/o77i
  Replies (9) Good night (368) Bad night (1359)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter

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  (774): who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly (413): seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter http://tfl.nu/tftx
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Yes.

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  (779): I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day (779): Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate? (815): Yes. http://tfl.nu/1qpc
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (274)

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