of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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