im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
