Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
is that a dick in a sweater?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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