This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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