I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
