I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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