But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
