Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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