SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I party with great urgency now.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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