you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
