Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
