It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
