Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
