Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
