i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
