oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's shark week go big or go home
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
