On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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