He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
