I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
