Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
