she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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