You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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