I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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