I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
