hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We are two peas in an std pod
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
