need another drink. this is the easiest way
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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