Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I want a musical about memes.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
