I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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