She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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