She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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