her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
don't judge my taste in strippers
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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