And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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