i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
where am i from again
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
