basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
