also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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