Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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