All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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