i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
