there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
40s are totally the cure
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
