Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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