can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
